Review: Marc Summers

Dear Femi-Man: Say NO to Eye Shadow!


Marc Summers is a television personality slash game and talk show host slash producer. I know him best as the host/producer of “Unwrapped” on the Food Network channel. 

Marc has the unfortunate honor of embodying what I call the “Femi-Man.” I’m not exactly sure when the Femi-Man tittered its girly little head, but I started noticing it just a few years ago. It started with noticeably waxed eyebrows. Then came hair dying and highlighting. Today’s Femi-Man straight up gets everywhere-waxed, dyed, manicured, pedicured, spray tanned, shaves his legs/armpits, Botox, electrolysis, wears makeup, girdles, colored contact lenses, thong underwear, lip gloss, nail polish etc. The Femi-man is strictly heterosexual, only with these girly habits as listed above. Oftentimes he has metrosexual tendencies, but a strictly Metro male is not necessarily a Femi-man. Don’t misunderstand, some grooming activities I would advocate..such as manscaping, or eliminating copious amounts of back hair! However, the Femi-Man engages in such a large quantity of these feminine beautifying activities, they no longer qualify as a Man. 

Femi-Man Marc Summers. To see him truly resplendent
in full make-up watch his show "Unwrapped." 

Enter poor, seemingly desperate to maintain his sprightly appearance, Marc Summers. His skin has the powder-over-oil appearance of heavy moisturizers followed by cakey, foundationy stage makeup. His eyebrows are smartly shaped to arch delicately and are filled in with just the right shades of salt and pepper to match his hair. His eyes have a spattering of white shadow between the lid and brow bone to really make their murky blueness “pop.” His hair is fanned and sprayed evenly as if set by a gentle tropical breeze. His forehead is discreetly bronzed while still trying to foster the porcelain-doll-skin look.  A creamy blush is smoothed over his oh-so-delicate cheekbones. His eyelashes are separated, curled, and defined with a clear mascara. And the worst, most repulsive offender: His cupid lips are finished with a cherry gloss that makes them pout and pucker just so. UGH! I’d invite him to my house, but I’d be afraid he’d five finger my Sephora Rouge.

Don’t misunderstand my harsh criticism. I don’t hate Marc Summers. In his defense, I doubt he asked for the make-up. They probably just started applying it and convinced him he looked better, younger, fresher, made for TV etc. However, I believe he, and every other Femi-Man out there needs to take a stand against cosmetics and be the brawny, rugged, dare-I-say-it hairy MAN they’re supposed to be! 

Say NO to EYESHADOW! 

Femi-Man with random lollipops and woman. Coincidence that the pop's vibrant red stripe is the same color as his crimson kisser? I THINK NOT.